RELIGION

Judaism

Looking at death from another faith perspective.

By Reverend Barbara Allen

Many of our attitudes towards death and dying are shaped by our particular faith tradition. As a Christian, mine are formed and given voice from within Christianity, with its beliefs, rituals and tradition, yet we can gain much knowledge from other faiths. I have learned several valuable lessons about death, and care of the grieving, from Judaism. Within the scope of this article, I would like to address three topics: burial, markers and mourning.

Burial

In Judaism, burial is the form of disposal of the body, not cremation, although Reform Judaism allows embalming and cremation. In the Bible Joseph and Jacob were embalmed (Genesis 50:2, 26), but it was an Egyptian burial practice and forbidden by Jewish law. This is due to the observance of the commandment from Genesis 3:19: ‘You are dust, and to dust you shall return’ as well as a belief in bodily resurrection. Cremation was also prohibited because it was seen as a lack of respect for the body for the body had once housed the soul and as such was to be accorded honour.

Traditionally, the body was buried in direct contact with the earth. This continues to be the way of burial in some countries, including Israel. If this is unable to be done, then the bottom of the coffin has several holes drilled in it in order to allow contact with the soil. Burial in Israel is highly desirable. Many Jews who live in the diaspora (Jews who live outside Israel) make arrangements for future burial in Israel. However, if this is not possible, then some earth from Israel is placed in the coffin.

In Judaism, all are seen as equal. This means that the coffin is the same for all, simple and unadorned. The body is to be wrapped in a white shroud. Adult males are also clothed in their prayer shawls. These rules, along with others, have been made in order to prevent social embarrassment. In the process, they have created a fairly uniform pattern of Jewish burial though there are some differences within Reform Judaism.

There is to be no distinction between the rich and the poor. I was reminded of this while visiting the museum exhibition ‘Death: the last taboo’, which was featured in the last issue of this magazine. One of the quotes written on the entrance wall to the exhibition was: ‘After the game, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.’ It is an Italian proverb, but it certainly echoes the Jewish idea of equality carried out in their burial practices.

From the moment of death, until the burial, the body is not left alone. Mourners sit with the body and Psalms are recited. Before the coffin is closed, or at the funeral, close relatives make small rips in their clothes. This is called k’riah. It goes back to Biblical times. There are several examples in the Bible, including Job tearing his clothes when hearing of the death of his children (Job 1:20), and in the story of Joseph, when Reuben thought Joseph was dead (Genesis 37: 29), and later when Jacob thought Joseph had been killed (Genesis 37:34). This custom symbolises the tear/break in the heart and signifies that life has changed.


Markers

In our culture, flowers are the preferred way of remembering, of leaving something from a mourner. This is not the custom in Judaism. In former times, before the erection of monuments/tombstones, stones were used as a marker, as a reminder of where the body had been buried. Perhaps this tradition goes back to the story of Jacob placing stones (or a pillar) to mark the grave of his wife Rachel (Genesis 35:20). Stones were also used to prevent animals from digging up the body. Today, with the protection of graves, these are no longer issues but stones are still used. Now they indicate that someone has visited the grave. There is something comforting about knowing someone has been to visit the grave of a loved one. Stones are a more permanent reminder than the perishable nature of cut flowers. In Judaism, laying flowers on a coffin or grave was seen as a non-Jewish practice, but for Jews in Muslim counties, they think otherwise. Some say that as long as the flowers are seen as a mark or respect for the deceased, and not as a display of wealth, then it is acceptable.

Mourning

Mourning, or grieving, is vital for our well being. Time is important. Within Judaism, there are set times for grieving. The first period, the most intense, lasts for seven days and is called shiva (which means seven). A seven day mourning period is mentioned in Genesis 50:10, Joseph mourned the death of his father, Jacob. To ‘sit shivah’ means that the mourner is released from his/her daily routine. Mourners sit on low stools, cosmetics are not worn, daily work is not undertaken, a candle burns continuously for the seven days and mirrors are covered or turned inwards to face the walls. It is the time of deepest mourning, when the person is to face the death of a loved one, when he/she is given the opportunity to think or talk about that person during this period. Friends and other visitors sit with the mourners, and help them through their grief. After the seven days there is a gradual period of adjustment back into the community.

It is worth remembering the necessity of being sensitive to another’s history. Living after the Holocaust, we need to be aware that certain words, or actions, can have negative connotations. For example, with at least six million Jews having perished during the Holocaust, the image of crematoria can convey horror or terror rather than being seen as a positive way in our society to farewell a loved one. Most of us can visit graves of loved ones, or have been to their places of rest. Today our cemeteries and crematoria are quiet, peaceful places where we can visit. For many Jews, their relatives have no such place. Let us be there for our neighbour, especially
during their grief.

Rev Barbara Allen, a Uniting Church
minister, is a Chaplain in Aged Care, at Mirinjani Village, Canberra.