By Ita Buttrose

Most of us don’t like thinking or talking about the death of someone we love or contemplating our own and, although we plan ahead for almost all of the major events in our lives, we prefer to relegate the subject of death and funerals to the ‘too hard’ basket. Our inability to come to terms with the inevitable often results in families being put under unnecessary stress during times of sorrow and grief. When a death occurs, family members or next of kin usually don’t have much time to visit funeral directors and are often in a state of anguish and perhaps shock. Therefore, their judgement can be clouded when evaluating the merits of various funeral directors and determining which one they will entrust to take care of their loved one. Research shows that when the time came to arrange a funeral, most people didn’t realise that there was a difference between funeral directors. Consequently, they simply didn’t know what to do or they regretted the funeral decisions they had made out of ignorance. Of course, somehow they muddled through but with a little thought and planning a funeral can be a memorable affair. The best way to achieve this status is to either prearrange a funeral or at least select a funeral director in advance.

There are nearly 200 funeral directors in Sydney and a vast range of standards exists between what they offer. Arranging a funeral is a time when you will be making sensitive decisions and therefore it’s important to deal with a funeral director of quality. It does make all the difference. There are two main factors that separate funeral directors from each other. One is service; the other is facilities. They are equally important and it’s absolutely vital to choose a funeral director that excels in both areas. Convenience should never be a substitute for quality when you are choosing a funeral director. Most funeral directors are able to cover a wide geographic area, so it really makes no difference if the one you choose is 10 kilometres or even 50 kilometres away from where you live. Be single-minded about this. Your goal should be to find a funeral director who can provide you with top class facilities and the highest level of service for your exact requirements. In many cases it’s the lack of adequate facilities that allows you to begin narrowing down your choices. It’s wise to personally visit a selection of funeral directors and view their premises first hand before making a decision. Companies can look very nice from the outside but the sensible thing to do is to look beyond the image. Check out whether the premises are clean and tidy behind the scenes and not just in the areas normally seen by most visitors.

Whatever you do, don’t just stay in the reception area and allow a funeral director to tell you how wonderful the facilities are. Ask to see them. If the funeral director declines or fobs you off with excuses, then this is not the company for you. Check out the following:

Mortuary: A large number of funeral homes don’t have adequate mortuary facilities. They can be run down, dirty and lack the necessary equipment. Some don’t have one at all. While most people don’t like to think about mortuary facilities, they do serve an important function. It is also where embalming processes are completed so cleanliness and proper equipment is of the utmost importance. Ideally, a top quality mortuary should be a large room that is tiled from floor to ceiling, contains suitable tables and trolleys, has wash down facilities, appropriate surgical needs and necessary council and health approved equipment. There also should be an adjoining cool room.

Chapel: A funeral director offering a chapel can be an advantage if you require a viewing and/or a service outside of a church. If you do want a chapel be sure to check out the size and feel of what’s being offered, and don’t forget to examine the quality of the chairs and the trolley for holding the casket or coffin. Keep in mind also that not all funeral directors cater for all religions and cultures — make sure they can handle your needs.

Function/Wake Room: Sometimes families and friends require a function/wake room but only a small number of funeral homes offer a room for this purpose. If this is something you want to have included make sure this need can be met. Really, you can never ask too many questions.

Funeral cars: There is a big difference in what’s offered in this area. Some companies use cars or hearses that are 15 or even 30 years old, and as a consequence they don’t do justice to what should be a lasting memory.

Transportation Van: This is what a funeral director uses to transfer the deceased back to the funeral home, a process that must be conducted with dignity and privacy. It is essential that the funeral director has the appropriate means of transportation. Ideally this would be a van without side windows that has been specially equipped inside.

Coffin & Casket Display Area: There is a wide variety of styles and colours of coffins and caskets. Cost can range from the low hundreds to as high as $45,000. Some funeral directors have display areas that allow you to see a variety of samples first hand, which is helpful. So too, is a funeral home with a sitting room. When someone has died, staff from the funeral home will need to finalise arrangements with the family or next of kin. This can be done through a home visit or at the premises of the funeral director. If the latter occurs, it is necessary for the funeral home to have a nice room where discussions can take place in a peaceful and comfortable environment.

Apart from facilities there are some key service issues that also need to be considered. The question that must be answered is: Can the funeral director look after everything you require? Use the following checklist to help make up your mind.


Service fee inclusions: Find out exactly what is included in the funeral director’s service fee (sometimes referred to as professional fees). No funeral director charges the same fee so cost comparison is essential. Take into account such factors as the quality of cars and other facilities, as well as the level of care that will be taken of the deceased.

Service vs Image: Does the displayed and proposed service match the funeral home’s image and facilities or does it seem disproportionate?

Knowledge: Do the staff display a good knowledge of the funeral industry and can they adequately answer questions asked of them?

Detailed information: Does the funeral director take the time to provide you with comprehensive details or just rush through things very quickly? Is there a good rapport? Do you feel comfortable that the funeral home and staff will take full and proper care of your needs? Sometimes you get a ‘gut feeling’ that things aren’t right or don’t feel right. Never ignore your gut feeling.

WHAT TO DO WHEN A DEATH OCCURS
When a death occurs at home, in hospital, in a nursing or retirement home or in a public place, generally the first person that should be called is a doctor. Once the doctor satisfies legalities regarding the cause of death and identity of the deceased, a medical certificate or cause of death certificate will be issued. At this point you should call your funeral director. Obviously, if a funeral director has not been selected, an extra burden is placed on the family or next of kin at this sad time. Remember though, it doesn’t have to be like this. Planning ahead is the sensible and wise thing to do and much easier on everyone when a death occurs. Whether pre-planned or for immediate need, the role of your chosen funeral director is one of service. There’s that word again — it’s hard to get away from it! The funeral director is there to guide you through every step of arranging the funeral. His or her role is to take care of all procedures and provide support from the very first point of contact to ultimately conducting the funeral. Your funeral director will need to know if a burial or a cremation is required and whether a single or a dual service is wanted. A dual service is most commonly requested and involves a service in a church or at the funeral director’s chapel and the funeral procession to the cemetery or crematorium. A single service is usually held at the funeral director’s chapel.

Setting the time for the funeral service and viewing/s should be discussed with the funeral director as well as the newspaper notices, type of caskets, choice of clergy, floral tributes, cars, wake requirements and any other special wishes. Funerals can be as expensive as you want them to be. The cheapest is not necessarily the best but neither is it necessary to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to get the kind of funeral service that you want. Whether a funeral is pre-paid or arranged as required, all the cost components are the same and cover two categories — standard items and optional items. Standard items include the service fee for the funeral director to arrange and perform the funeral. This fee varies for each funeral director so don’t hesitate to ask what the fee incorporates. Other standard cost items are the coffin or casket and the burial or cremation fees. Optional cost items are such things as mourning vehicles, flowers, press notices, viewing fees, church/clergy fees and memorialisation requirements. In recent times, there has been a growth in the number of people organising pre-arranged and pre-paid funerals. There are two main benefits — it locks in the funeral costs at today’s prices and at a time of grief it helps the family, both financially and emotionally, if affairs are in order. The funeral director should provide you with a pre-paid funeral plan contract as a guarantee. There are two ways to make payments. You can pay for your pre-paid funeral plan in a lump sum or your funeral director may give you the option to pay by instalments. It not only makes good financial sense but also ensures your exact wishes are made known and carried out.