Honouring Service in the Armed Forces

As time goes on so many of our returned service men and women are now reaching the twilight years of their lives. Now is the time to consider how you can honour such service and dedication to the freedom of Australia as a nation.

BY SUE HARDY

As a funeral celebrant I have, over many years, met with families and listened as they have recounted tales of war, of hardship, of mateship and larrikin antics. Some families have photos, usually of a young lad in a clean crisp uniform - young men looking rather handsome with eyes sparkling at the thought of the adventures ahead. Other families may have a photo taken at some tropical location where the hardship of war shows clearly in eyes that once were innocent to the atrocity of war. Faded photos of grandmothers in crisp nurses regalia, which now seem so impractical for the medical units and hospitals they cared for the wounded in, but photos that hold many memories for the families when their loved ones pass away.

Every family has a different idea of how best to honour their family members who gallantly fought for our country. Often the deceased will have left clear instructions especially if the deceased was a member of the Returned Service Club. In Australia the funeral service will often have within it an RSL service just prior to the final farewell and committal.

You may have seen in the movies and in news footage American servicemen being honoured with a flag on the coffin and nothing else. Australian protocol allows for flowers and other items to be placed on the flag if it is draping a casket or coffin. It is these little details that make such a difference and where your funeral celebrant can assist and advise you.

The RSL Service is often also referred to as ‘The Poppy Service’. Conducted by a member of the RSL the service includes remembering the many qualities of the person being honoured and acknowledging that one by one they depart this world and enter the great beyond. There is also recognition of our need to offer care to those who are left behind.

Before poppies are placed on the coffin by all at the funeral who have served and the last Post and Reveille played, the Ode is said:

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old;

Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.

At the going down of the sun and in the morning

We will remember them.

The Ode of Remembrance is a verse from English poet Laurence Binyon’s poem For the Fallen, which was first published in the London newspaper The Times on 21 September 1914. The verse has been used in association with commemoration services in Australia since 1921.

To have a full RSL Memorial service with a bugler playing is stirring and gives all those who have come to pay their last respects a sense of pride as well as comfort.

Mt Macedon Memorial Cross - Victoria, Australia

For some though, their only wish is to forget the few years of their life spent in battle and so it is that such requests should be upheld. Problems can arise when the family are proud of their dad’s service record and are torn between respect for his wishes and their needs in paying tribute to their father and mourning his passing. I find that after discussions with the family a good compromise can usually be reached.

It may be simply placing the Australian Flag on the coffin and a brief mention in the eulogy of time served or displaying a photo of dad in his uniform or grandma in hers.

Alternatively a very poignant and moving tribute can be made at the time of committal. Everyone present stands and the funeral celebrant plays a rendition of Waltzing Matilda and the Last Post as the coffin goes from sight. With such a tribute there’s no need for words.

To me this is the benefit of having a trained funeral celebrant who is accredited with the Australian Federation of Civil Celebrants. Their understanding and experience will enable you to express your own vision for honouring valiant service and they will be able to ensure that, if at all possible, it comes to fruition. Their belief that a funeral should be a celebration of life means that often the AFCC celebrant will take those extra steps if necessary such as obtaining an American Interment flag for someone who served in US Army or locating a New Zealand flag if that is appropriate. After all you are putting your emotions and memories in the hands of your funeral celebrant.