Arrange my own funeral? But I'm not ready!

When's the right time to think about pre-arranging your funeral? How do you choose a funeral director when advertisements all seem the same? Do you know what sort of funeral you would like? How can you relieve the burden from your family?

As we age to become a “senior” in society it's not unusual for us to consider retirement facilities and agedcare. The Australian Funeral Directors Association (AFDA) believes this is also the time that you should consider your own funeral as in some cases you may be required to - so it makes sense to plan ahead.

Many of us don't want to face the inevitable, but if we discuss it openly with family and friends you will be surprised to find that you are not alone and, in fact, many people are now choosing pre-paid funerals.

There is no absolute right time to choose to prepay your funeral, however keep in mind that most prepaid funeral plans allow you to secure costs at today's prices; but you will need to check with your funeral director. Prepaid funerals offer peace of mind because not only do they relieve a financial and emotional burden from family and friends; it insures you will be in control of how people gather to remember you and reflect on your life.

“Pre-paying your funeral is not as daunting as you might think”, said Liz Young, National Director of the AFDA. “It's a very pragmatic decision to make and will allow you to decide exactly what suits you and how much you can afford or want to spend. It will also save your family from a financial burden and give you peace of mind. There is no right or wrong about what you want - the choices are always yours to make and decide. The funeral can be as elaborate or as simple as you like.”

Liz Young said, “The first step is to find the right funeral director for you. Most funeral directors are chosen by experience, that is, you've attended a funeral and have been impressed by the company's presentation and comforted by the care extended to the grieving family. If, however, you want to compare companies then it's best to make appointments with funeral directors to meet with them in their premises; appreciate their consultation rooms and chapels and be comfortable with their staff. After all, it's your surviving family that will be meeting with and finalising the arrangements at the time of death”.

Many funeral homes also have a website, so you can gain a valuable insight as to which funeral home may suit your needs best, from the privacy and comfort of you own home.

Very few states have regulations for funeral directors in Australia, so it's also really important to take into account accreditation, values and a firm's ability to demonstrate that it subscribes to an industry code of ethics and professional standards. Market research conducted by the AFDA shows that many in the community believe that the funeral industry is fully regulated and are generally surprised to learn that this is not the case. The AFDA has been a national association since 1935 with members in every State and Territory and nearly twenty years ago recognised that, potentially, consumers could be at risk of unscrupulous operators that do not heed occupational health and safety obligations and public health standards. Equally as important is that consumers have the right to expect their loved-one be treated with utmost dignity in the best possible environment.

Liz Young recommends that when you are looking to choose a funeral home, “You should make sure they are an AFDA member or at least a member of a credible association that ensures certain standards and ethics are maintained”.

But what are these professional standards and accreditation and how do they affect me? The AFDA believes that all funeral directors, regardless of their membership of the AFDA, should be professional by nature and in practice. It is generally understood that the funeral is the vital first-step on the family's journey of acceptance and recovery.

“This is the family's last occasion that they can publicly demonstrate their affection and regard and that the life of the deceased is compassionately reflected upon with a sense of celebration as well as sorrow. Professional funeral directors have an obligation to the community to facilitate such an occasion whilst acknowledging their responsibilities as employers”, says Liz Young.

AFDA members are required to comply with an accreditation program that prescribes facilities within their funeral home: their premises, equipment and vehicles. If they cannot comply with this program their membership can be revoked. When visiting an AFDA member you should feel free to site the accreditation certificate.

It's also important to ask for a written outline of their services and an estimate of fees. At this time, it is not possible to provide a quotation for the entire funeral, as the funeral director does not control many items that many families request for a funeral. These include burial or cremation fees, newspaper notices, floral arrangements, clergy or celebrants and doctors fees, catering, musical presentations and any kind of memorial. You should, however, be able to seek an estimation of these fees.

Once you have made your decisions about the services you want, you will be required to sign a written and binding contract with the funeral director you have chosen. You should expect to receive a copy of the contract and receipt of monies and, after a few days, a certificate from the investment company that ensures your monies are protected and secure even if the funeral company is no longer in business when the funeral is required. Most funeral directors invest funds with a Friendly Society as they offer the greater advantages. Nearly all states have specific legislation that protects pre/paid funeral contracts that ensures that funds cannot be misappropriated. To find out more, you can either ring the AFDA or contact your State Government's consumer affairs department. Once this is finalised, the only thing left to do is to make sure you have notified your next of kin and the Executor - they do need to know.