Why you need a Memorial

A memorial is defined in the dictionary as something designed to preserve the memory of a person. So it is a pity that what is often forgotten at the time of arranging a funeral is a memorial and importantly the significance it might play for those not involved in making the arrangements. It is just as important for those people to deal with their grief in their own way, which is assisted by having a designated quiet place to go and reflect. A cemetery or crematoria provides such a venue. It is worth considering that there are not just other family and friends who benefit from a memorial, there are also the generations to come who will have somewhere to go to trace their heritage and mark a life.

On a daily basis cemeteries and crematoria around the country receive requests from people trying to trace their family heritage. It's amazing how many people have relatives they are not sure where and when they were buried or cremated. By finding them they are able to visit the memorial and understand a little about their heritage through the basic information recorded on a plaque.

With a trend toward cremation, what has been forgotten is the importance of a memorial. Why have a memorial when you could simply scatter the ashes in a favourite spot? It is only years later that the consequences are felt as evidenced by the flood of emails. The concern is that with a cremation, unlike a burial where at least a plaque is almost always established, people walk away with the ashes. With no memorial, crematoria can't answer the questions from people tracing their family history. By the same token, there is nothing left in a spot for family and friends to go and reflect.

In recent years there has been an industry and media focus on how funerals have become more reflective of the individual, while at the same time there has been a reluctance to appreciate the broader issue of memorials. When it comes to personalising a funeral, it may be as simple as a particular song being played, but it is something families generally take into consideration as they make the arrangements. Whilst the memories of those we lose will always be with us, you can not forget the need to have somewhere to go to reflect in the future. As a society we are very accepting of memorials erected to honour those lost in tragedies (such as War memorials and for the victims of the Bali bombings) or if the person was a celebrity. Each year at anniversaries we focus on these memorials. The next step for the media and indeed the community is to see that every life deserves to have a memorial.

Many of the cemeteries and crematoria of today are being developed as more of a memorial park than what has traditionally been the case. They are beautiful in their own right and provide a sanctuary to reflect. These days they are filled with more than just the traditional stone memorials; like funerals, they have become more personalised. There are many examples of how you can personalise a funeral service from playing a particular song to releasing butterflies and so to you can personalise a memorial, with literally hundreds of options to choose from. From lawn burial sites to gardens, crypts and family estates each cemetery and crematoria can guide you through the options they have available. The memorials can reflect the life of the individual and carry valuable information about the history of a family. It's a significance, which can be felt for generations to come.

Increasingly people are prepaying their funeral, making the arrangements in advance to be remembered in the way they want. At the same time you should also consider the legacy a memorial will provide. Again there are the financial incentives, in that you take the burden away from family, but more importantly you are giving them a gift to remember you by.

Often when people think about a funeral, they focus on the service itself. Generally speaking if you go through the process of prepaying your funeral, the memorial will not come into the equation as far as the funeral director is concerned, because it is something you need to arrange independently with your chosen cemetery or crematoria. It is a general misconception in the community that the funeral includes the burial / cremation and memorial. A memorial is just as important, and arguably more so in the long term and should not be forgotten.